When a couple gets married, they make a vow to stick with each other through thick and thin. Unfortunately, not every marriage lasts a lifetime.
Imelda Devera Pacheco, a 40-year-old overseas Filipina worker (OFW) in Dubai recounts how her failed marriage pushed her to seek greener pastures abroad to support her three children on her own.
The OFW told The Filipino Times that she met her husband, Reynaldo, back in 2002 and they eventually got married in 2009.
They were blessed with three children: Romelyn, Lyndon, and Carlyn Jade, who are now 15, 11, and 9 years old, respectively.
A year after they got married, Imelda decided to fly to the United Arab Emirates (UAE) to work as a domestic helper for an Emirati family.
“Nagsimula ‘yon sa isang pangarap,” Imelda explains.
“Pangarap na makapagpundar ng ari-arian at saka matustusan ‘yung pangangailangan ng pamilya ko,” she adds.
She initially intended to work here for two years only. But she was blessed to find a compassionate Emirati employer named Mohamed Abdullah Sulaiman Yousof Al Shaibani, who decided to keep her even after her contract ended.
Her OFW life was not all luck. Her relationship with her husband started to fall apart, pushing her to come home.
Imelda said she tried to fight for her marriage for the sake of their children.
“Ayaw ko kasi ‘yung broken family kami. Pinaglaban ko family ko s’ya. There was a time na nagpakamartir ako,” she says.
However, the last straw soon came. She explains, “Dumating ‘yung punto na na-ospital ‘yung mga anak ko. ‘Yung tipong nag-50-50 ‘yung isa kong anak. It was a matter of life and death pero pinabayaan lang nya.”
Imelda narrates that her husband would often leave to go to cockpits, spending her hard-earned money to various gambles and vices.
Even though they are not yet officially legally separated, Imelda said that she has completely cut ties with husband.
Starting a new chapter
After her short-lived marriage, she decided to go back to Dubai for the sake of her three children in the Philippines. She stepped in as the sole provider of the family.
“Walang taong nangarap na masira ang buhay. Hindi ko pinangarap na masira pero nangyari at wala akong magawa. Hindi ko gusto na habang buhay ako dito, pero wala akong choice kundi gawin bilang obligasyon ng isang magulang, magtitiis ako para sa mga anak ko,” she said.
She left her children in the care of her mother and siblings in San Jose, Antique, but she still tries to foster a healthy relationship with her three children by talking to them regularly.
Imelda admits that there are times when working solely for her family also takes its toll on her.
“Sa totoo naman, ‘yung sa mga needs ng anak ko, kaya ko naman silang suportahan kasi okay naman ‘yung sahod ko. Pero iba pa rin kasi ‘yung meron kang partner kesa ‘yung ikaw lang ‘yung bahala sa lahat. Minsan dumadating na rin sa punto na susuko ka, ‘yung sitwasyon na, ‘Bakit ako na lang eh anak namin to? Bakit solo ko lahat?’,” she said.
Regardless, she was determined to keep going for her kids. Due to her hard work, she was even able to build a house for her family.
“Proud pa rin ako kasi kahit single mother ako, nakapagpundar ako ng bahay para sa mga anak ko,” Imelda said.
All for the sake of her children
After eight years of working abroad, Imelda said that repatriation and retirement are not yet part of her plans.
“Hanggang kaya ko, hanggang gusto ako ng amo ko, hanggang makatapos ‘yung mga anak ko, magtatrabaho ako,” Imelda said when asked how long she plans to stay in Dubai.
She shared that it is her dream to see her children finish their studies and that she will do whatever it takes just to realize it.
“Ako, ang masasabi ko lang sa mga anak ko ay mangarap sila. Abutin nila kung ano ang gusto nilang maabot sa buhay nila,” she said.
Mother knows best
This coming Mother’s Day, Imelda advised fellow mothers who are far away from their families to remain strong.
She also left a message to children of overseas workers.
“Sana pahalagahan niyo na lang kung ano ‘yung binibigay ng magulang niyo sa inyo kasi mahirap maging OFW – tinitiis ang lahat para sa kinabukasan ng anak. Mahalin niyo nanay niyo kahit malayo sila kasi walang magulang na ginustong malayo sa kanyang anak kaso ginagawa nila ‘yon para rin sa kanila,” she said.
