Dear TFT,
It took me a great amount of courage to send this letter. For one, I know that it will rouse the attention of many, including my fellow OFWs here in Dubai. Second, letting my story known will trigger painful memories. But in my attempt to face and let go of this chapter in my life, I am finally telling my story.
I have been working here in Dubai for almost five years now, a short time compared to my compatriots who have spent too much time away from home.
TFT, I left my husband Jeff (name withheld) and child in the Philippines to seek greener pastures here. I found out I was pregnant after barely a year of being together with Jeff. A year after our kid was born, we got married.
Everything was fine at first. But with Jeff’s meager income, I felt like we couldn’t give our child the life we wanted for her. It was after months of contemplating that I finally decided to work in Dubai.
I sought the help of my tita who, that time, had been staying in Dubai for over a decade. She helped with my requirements and even helped me find a flat to live in. I owe that much to her.
Everything went well despite the usual loneliness. I was, after all, miles away from my family. The days turned to months and before I knew it, a year has swiftly passed.
TFT, it was during my second year here that I felt a change in my relationship with Jeff. He answered my calls less and our conversations veered away from sweet nothings. I already knew even before news from my tita confirmed it: Jeff was having an affair.
At that time, I couldn’t go home even if I wanted to. I was on a strict two-year contract and I couldn’t take a leave from work. All I could do was call him and ask for explanation, one thing that he failed to give.
My tita told me that Jeff’s mistress would visit our house from time to time. It was a heartbreak for me to think that it was another woman who was spending time with my husband and daughter.
Madami na akong tiniis para sa kanila. Hindi nila alam kung gaano ka-lungkot mabuhay nang mag-isa sa ibang bansa. Araw-araw, tinitiis ko ang pagod para lang maibigay ang lahat ng pangangailangan ng pamilya ko sa Pilipinas. Kung pwede ko lang hatiin ang katawan ko, matagal ko nang ginawa para mas makakayod.
Bukod sa regular job ko, nagtitinda rin ako ng mga damit at sari-saring gamit sa mga ka-opisina para lang matustusan ang luho ng asawa ko. Sabi nga ng nanay ko “Kakainin mo nalang, isusubo mo pa sa asawa mo.”
Pero wala naman ‘yun dahil mahal ko sya. Ang sa akin lang, yung pinaghihirapan ko pala dito sa Dubai, napupunta lang pala sa iba. Gayunman, isinantabi ko lahat. Lahat-lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman ko.
I went home in 2016 with plans to reconcile with Jeff despite the hurtful things he did. I stayed in our house during my month-long vacation, but Jeff avoided me at all costs. He left our house days before I arrived in the Philippines. He changed his number and not even his family knew where he was staying.
Days before my flight back to Dubai, Jeff’s friends called me. They said Jeff was already staying in Batangas with his mistress.
I went back to Dubai with a heavy heart, knowing that there was nothing I could do to save our relationship.
Looking back, 5 years na rin pala nung una akong tumuntong dito sa Dubai. And most of that entire time was spent on something na sa huli hindi ko naman pala matatawag na akin.
Here I am, a stranger in a foreign land facing a difficult ordeal: how do you forget and move on?
TFT, how do you forget the man who promised to love you? How do you move on without receiving any form of closure from your husband?
A part of me still longs for him. A part of me is still hoping we can bring back our happy times together as a family.
Thank you, TFT, for publishing my letter and I hope that your readers can give me some advice on what I could do to finally forgive and forget.
Sincerely,
Marian
