While lots of people are celebrating the change of an era this 2021, some are still holding on to the memories of their past relationship. Worse, they are incessantly sending their ex-partners text messages or bugging them with calls even if they don’t get any response.
If the breakup is still fresh and you’ve been bombarding your partner of how much you miss your time together, constantly chasing the person to win him/her again, it’s not going to work.
Stop that habit of bugging your ex immediately after the breakup and give yourselves time and space to process what you both lost.
Below are 5 ways to move on, make your ex miss you, or even chase you:
1 Observe the ‘no contact’ rule
You have to put a break on buzzing your ex all the time because you’re only pissing him/her off. If you message the person nonstop, you would only exacerbate whatever reason your ex had to dump you.
It’s natural for any dumpee to beg and plead for a second chance by making the other person remember all the sweet memories they shared. But in most cases, the dumper had already thought of the breakup before it happened. Hence, you cannot change that decision overnight. Though it’s never going to be easy to mend your broken heart, you both have to go through this process alone.
2 Don’t put your ex on a pedestal
If you put your ex on a pedestal, you’re making him/her feel that s/he is the prize and you’re practically putting your ex on top of the food chain and you’re only one of his/her options.
In any relationship, there’s such a thing as ‘economy of love’. Oversupply (of affection) can cause lower demand. So at the onset of the breakup, you have to tip the scale in your favor.
The dumper would naturally think that s/he has more power or more in control of the situation. And the more you beg, the more you plead, the more you make him/her feel you are devastated over him/her leaving you, you’re only letting your ex amass more power.
Do the ‘no contact rule’ until such time that you’ve regained your self-worth.
3 You will not be ‘missed’ if you won’t “run away”
Accept the fact that a person would never miss you (or chase you if that’s your purpose) if you would always reassure that you’re just there for him/her available 24/7.
The ‘no contact period’ is a way of showing your ex that you are not a lapdog. By adhering to the ‘no contact’ rule, you are also balancing out the economy of love. If you oversupply, you’d be seen as a surplus—you’d need to be dispatched, no longer needed.
The only way for you to balance that ‘playing field’ between you and your ex is to totally cut off the supply of any amount of your presence in his/her life.
4 Develop an ‘abundance mentality’
Even if you had been together for so long and you know each other too well — the fact is that you’re now two strangers, only that you have memories together. But put any plans to make your ex reconsider his/her move in the back burner, again by applying the no contact rule.
In the process of moving on, take away that ‘scarcity mentality’ or that feeling that you cannot live without your ex. Do not be clingy or needy. Never rely on another person’s happiness. Rather, think that there’s so much ahead of you, waiting to be seized. So, focus your attention now to a new purpose or develop a new passion. In all these, know that whether or not you’re with a special someone, you can thrive.
5 Take this time to better yourself
You’re doing this to help you also move on and not to manipulate anyone’s feeling. While you’re trying to move on during the no contact period, you have to focus on making a better version of yourself. Think about this, would your ex feel wanting you or needing you back into his/her arms again if you look wasted, no clear sense of direction in life.
No, right? Now is a time to hit the gym, make new memories with friends or family, and regain your self-worth and confidence after the breakup.
If you’re into social media, focus your posts on positive aspects of your life now as a single. Utilize the power of FOMO (fear of missing out), to make your ex feel s/he is losing a very important occasion in your life or a memory that could have been part of your journey if you’re still together.
Tip the scale in your favor—whether you want to move on or be with your ex again—by thinking that you are the real deal. In anything that you do, think that ‘you are the prize’, not just an option.
