As we celebrate International Women’s Month this March, we are reminded of the numerous stories of women who rose above the norm and shattered barriers, inspiring others to carve their paths to success and empowering them to find their voice against discrimination.
However, within these success stories lies the challenge and the reality of being a strong, independent woman in today’s male-dominated world.
In a “Tanong ng Bayan” or an online poll posted by The Filipino Times, we asked: “What are the signs that you’re a strong, independent woman?” and TFT readers expressed their unique sentiments as women.
Some answered that being a strong, independent woman is defined by not depending on others for their happiness. Meanwhile, some expressed that by getting back on their feet after facing great battles make them resilient.
Ms. Alexandra Reyes, Transformational Life Coach based in Dubai, shared her expert opinion on the ways that women can become strong and independent in this day and age.
- Doing little tasks with a strong drive
According to Reyes, one should first envision and then embody their strong and independent self. You should picture yourself already living life as the strong, independent woman you know you can be, notice the kind of habits you’d have, the beliefs that drive you, and take steps to start living your life from that place as well.
“If that means scheduling me-time, waking up earlier to work out, or believing you are unstoppable, you don’t need to wait for specific success milestones to start doing that and instead, you can give yourself permission to start now,” Reyes explained.
2. Stop doing things to please others
Reyes emphasized that women should reflect and act on what they really want for themselves, instead of what other people want for them or from them.
“Let go of the need to please others or meet other people’s expectations and instead define for yourself what you want to do and who you want to be. Other people’s expectations of you are their business, not yours,” she stated.
3. Set your personal goals and act on them
To be a successful woman, you should act in alignment with your values and goals. Everyone needs to get crystal clear on what their values and goals are, ensuring that they are not in conflict with one another.
“Then reflect on how your daily actions may or may not be serving them. This will make it easier for you to decide what behaviors to stop and start to achieve your goals while being true to who you are,” she stated.
4. Embrace yourself and do something to make your life better
“Accept and love yourself for who you are right now while also daring to be even better,” Reyes advised.
She explained that society and media can lead you to create conditions for yourself that sound like “I can ONLY accept or love myself once I get thinner or make more money or find a partner,” and this belief is completely false. She highlighted that withholding acceptance and love for yourself is not a healthy way to self-motivate.
“Learn to accept yourself as you are and grow yourself out of self-love and excitement rather than out of self-hate or self-judgment,” she said.
5. Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures
Reyes shared our sentiments when it comes to existential crises, saying that we can get easily get stuck in the daily grind and feel like we’re not going anywhere.
“That’s why it’s incredibly important to regularly reflect on your progress. Don’t dwell on mistakes, but rather give yourself gratitude for the lessons you’ve learned that make you wiser now. Acknowledge all the efforts you’ve been investing, all the growth you’ve done, and celebrate all the wins, both big and small,” she commented.
6. Surround yourself with positive people
While we celebrate women’s independence, one strong trait that we can possess is the ability to discern and filter the people we welcome into our lives—the ones we can really depend on.
“Know that even the strongest people still need help sometimes and that’s okay. It’s great to be independent, but never underestimate the power of a strong support system,” Reyes emphasized.
She advises us to surround ourselves with positive people as much as possible. This means keeping the ones who are happy to support you, and letting go of people who only bring toxicity.
“Cultivate a community with the mindset of creating a rising tide that lifts all boats and enables all of us to be strong and independent women,” she said.
