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The good, the bad, the ugly: Love affair in the shadows of our parents

Marriage involves the union of two individuals who agreed to live together for better or for worst, and sickness and in health. You pledge to your better half that you will stick to them through thick and thin.
But marriage doesn’t end with between the man and wife, as it involves families on both sides whether the groom or bride like it or not. But what if you’re not in good terms with your in-laws?
The recent scuffle in Sarah and Matteo Guidicelli’s wedding shed some light in the role of parents in the success of matrimony. Parent’s intervention on their children’s marriage and relationship is beneficial but could be disastrous at the same time.
Netizens expressed their reactions on Mommy Divine’s intervention on her daughter’s wedding on The Filipino Times page. People are divided on whether Popstar’s mother went too far or she is just doing her duty to protect and care for her 31-year-old daughter.
“Mother needs to grow up from being a controller to  a coach and consultant so children will stick through and respect her,” a netizen said in her post.
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“We don’t know behind scenes bakit galit si Mommy Divine pero it’s your mom!! For God’s sake!!! Oo malaki ka na pero it’s your mom..baliktarin man ang mundo mama pa rin niya yan,” a netizen commented.
It is common on Filipino culture to have in-laws who are over protective as one of the manifestations of our tight family bond, though this can also be attributed to unsuccessful marriages.
There are advantages of having protective parents as they can guide and support their children in making decisions. They are a perfect source of advice on a myriad of issues, as they have rich experiences that they can share.
However, too much involvement may cause a rift between the parents and their child’s partner which might evolve into a conflict between the couple. It can also cause issues such as overdependence on in-law’s support. Lack of independence or autonomy of one party might lead to conflict or worse separation.
Some parents are too attached to their children to the point that they are dragging them in every issue including monetary ones. They cling too much to their children which is too much for the liking of their in-law as well as their child as what a netizen pointed out in his comment.
“Para sa’kin hindi obligasyon ng anak na bigyan (ng pera) ang magulang unless ang anak ang magkusa sa kanilang mga magulang na tumulong,” the netizen wrote.
There is nothing wrong in a parent’s involvement in their children’s lives as long as they do not cause harm or concern to other people. Parents must keep things cordial and serve as counselors instead of dictating things to their children.
Parents should learn to set the boundaries as their child is mature enough to make decisions for themselves.

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