A Filipina based in the UAE has shared that the quarantine measures that were implemented as a result of coronavirus disease (COVID-19) have made her realize to call her marriage quits for good.
Tokang Yu—not her real name—said that her marriage with her first boyfriend-turned-husband has always been challenging and on the rocks, with several affairs, abuse, and irresponsible actions involved.
However, before the pandemic, she always found a way to forgive him and give him numerous chances—citing that it was difficult for her to reject him each time he came back.
“Tumagal kami ng relasyon na puro away, bati, at puro pasensya pero hindi natatapos ang araw kailangan ayusin namin walang tutulog nang hindi naayos,” she said.
She said that while they got married at an early age, they started off happy and in love. However, everything changed after he got into an accident and became disabled. When the roles changed, and she was the one who had to work by coming to the UAE, she noticed that her husband became irresponsible—going out on various drinks with friends and eventually, cheating on her with other women.
However, despite all those, she couldn’t bring herself to leave him and ended up accepting him again each time he reached out to her.
“Then after forgiveness, I started to pick up the pieces again kahit ‘di ako makamove on mga ginawa niya, patuloy ko pa rin sya inuunawa, mas nag-chat kami, tumatawag siya, binabalik ang dating samahan na kahit away-bati inaayos kaagad,” she said.
The stress from her marriage also became a factor to her getting Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV), a no-cure disease that can lead to permanent deafness if constant anxiousness continues.
In 2019, she said she caught him cheating again, and he asked for forgiveness again. She said she decided to once again accept him and tried to work it out for their family.
And then, in 2020, when her brother died, she said her husband did not bother to reach out to her and comfort her while she was grieving.
Yu noted that her last straw was when the lockdown measures in the Philippine began, wherein it became all the more difficult to reach him and know his whereabouts.
“’Yong quarantine at curfew parang naging dahilan pa para madalas siya sa ibang bahay at doon na natutulog. Hindi namin alam ikung saan sya inaabutan ng pag-inom o kung sino mang babae ang kasama niya,” she added.
Yu noted that it was during the restrictions in the UAE that she was able to truly reflect on the status of her marriage, and that it was no longer worth saving after two decades.
“Dahil sa quarantine, nagising ako sa katotohanan na niloloko na ulit nya ako at ginagamit na lang para mabuhay siya. ‘Yan ang epekto ng quarantine, natauhan ako at na-realize ko lahat ng mga pagkakamali niya at mga maling desisyon ko na patawarin siya,” she said.
She added that the stay-at-home measures made her regret all the things and sacrifices she did for him, and has finally accepted that it was time to let him go.
“Emotionally distressed pa rin ako sa kanya kaya dapat mahalin sarili ko ngayon. Ayoko na, kaya ako na lumayo ngayom, ako na ang tuluyang ‘di nakipag usap. Pinangako ko na sa sarili na mas mabuti ng ganito na manahimik na ako,” Yu added.