Overseas Filipina Mica, not her real name, experienced to be in a murky relationship with someone who had made cheating a cycle in their relationship.
“I have given a lot of chances dahil mahal ko. Pero naging cycle na ang cheating niya and later on, nalaman ko na narcissist pala sya. I gave up on him kasi mas naawa na ako sa sarili ko. I chose to forgive him despite all the pain, but no more chances. It will never happen,” she said.
In the relationship book “After the Affair,” author and clinical psychologist Janis Abrahams Spring, Ph.D. said rebuilding trust and intimacy starts with a “willingness to hang in there and try again.”
There are also some netizens who believe forgiveness depends on the situation. August Leone said that a second chance might be okay, but if the partner is caught the second time around, it’s time to end it for real.
“Ang Diyos nga nagpapatawad, tayo pa kaya. Basta may sincerity, give them a second chance. But if he is caught again, end the relationship without explanation,” she said.
Netizen Anabelle Zate Fernandez agreed, saying “Everyone needs a second chance pero kapag paulit-ulit na, pakawalan mo na siya.”
American clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr. Stephen Diamond said cheating once can be considered a slip-up, but twice or more is a pattern. Someone who constantly forgives the offending partner even after a third or a fourth incident may have a sign of co-dependency—which, he said, may be the one enabling the problem in the first place.
“Some see their own unequivocal commitment to the relationship and love for the offending partner as reasons for either overlooking such bad behavior or for giving them repeated chances to change,” he said.
