People say that true love comes at a time when you least expect it. For Maggie (not her true name), she thought she already found love with Chris, her boyfriend for 6 years and with whom they have a love child.
“Bago pa ako magpunta ng Dubai, maayos naman ang relasyon namin. Para kaming mag-asawa kahit hindi kami kasal, blessed pa nga kami at nagkaroon ng isang anak,” Maggie shared about her boyfriend in Quezon City.
As her son grew up, Maggie realized that she couldn’t raise her kid on Chris’ meager salary as a bus conductor.
“Nagdesisyon akong mangibang bansa para mabigyan ng magandang kinabukasan ang pamilya ko, yun naman talaga ang purpose ko una palang,” she said.
Not too long after that, she flew off to Dubai. With all her dreams of getting a fresh start and pulling her family out of poverty, depression hit her.
“Parang may kulang pa rin – tao lang ako pero ramdam kong hindi ako masaya, pero kailangan kong magsakripisyo,” said Maggie.
Until she and Carlo (name withheld), a fellow Filipino expat in Dubai, crossed paths. They live in the same building in Deira.
She shared that during her darkest moments, Carlo was her only constant. It did not take long for Maggie to find herself falling for him.
“Nung dumating siya sa buhay ko, masasabi kong bumalik ulit lahat. Wala akong tinago sa kanya, alam nya na may anak na ako – ang hindi ko inexpect ay yung reaksyon nya na kahit gayunpaman ay tanggap nya ako at pananagutan daw nya sakaling hindi daw alagaan ng ayos ng asawa ko sa Pilipinas ang anak namin,” Maggie said.
This, as she kept her relationship with her family back home. Last month, Carlo popped the question to Maggie. And while most women would be happy to receive a marriage proposal, she found herself torn between two lovers.
“Sabi ko sa kanya, pauwiin mo muna ako – gusto ko munang patunayan sa sarili ko kung sino talaga ang mahal ko,” shared Maggie, who recalled that it was the first time she saw Carlo in tears as he faced rejection.
Maggie did just that. She headed back to the Philippines and returned to Chris and her son.
She tried to figure out if her feelings for Chris were already dead stars. She said she needed that time to make a choice.
“Naramdaman ko po talaga na hindi na pala si Chris talaga. Mahirap din naman na pilitin ko pa kung alam kong sa bandang huli, pareho lang kaming masasaktan,” Maggie said.
When asked about how she broke the news to Chris, she said, “Maayos naman ang aming usapan na patuloy kong susuportahan ang anak ko… yun ang akala ko,” Maggie said.
She flew back to Dubai and to her shock, she received a slew of hate messages from her Facebook account.
“Napakaraming masasakit na salita ang ininda ko galing sa mga inakala kong kaibigan ko. Hindi man lang nila pinakinggan ang side ko. Ang masama pa noon, nakita yun lahat ni Carlo,” shared Maggie.
Nevertheless, Maggie was thankful to Carlo as he did not let those affect his judgment of her.
Filipino expats and their families suffer and bear the brunt of the social costs of migration.
Maggie’s story proves that a beautiful relationship can go south even after they try to make it work. She still hopes that Chris would also find his own happiness.
“Hindi man kami kasal, patuloy ko namang sinusuportahan ang anak ko hanggang ngayon. Ang kahilingan ko lang ay makahanap na rin siya ng taong tunay na magpapasaya sa kanya,” Maggie told The Filipino Times
In a study titled “Valuing the Social Cost of Migration” by Dungo et.al., published for UN Women, spouses are often concerned about the distance, the well-being, and the constant fear of infidelity of either party.
