Walling? Burning photos and letters? Blocking on Facebook? Bet you don’t want to experience doing these things because these are the most common scenarios that heartbroken people do to burn their past. As the saying goes, “Love can either make you or break you.”
Lisa Firestone PhD of Compassion Matters found out in her 30-year research that the patterns of behavior between couples in a long-term relationship sometimes develop into a “fantasy bond”.
This “fantasy bond” refers to the illusion that they’re still in love with each other, but in reality, love has already faded away. She said that a couple’s behavior toward each other is one of the contributing factors that often lead relationship into becoming a sort of a dead star.
A dead star means people only think or feel that they’re still in love, when the truth of the matter is that… love has gone.
Here are the top 8 behaviours that can ruin your relationship and how you can avoid it from happening:
1 Hindi ka member ng frat… (f’rating single)
Stop acting like you’re as free as a bird when you’re not, especially when you’re in a long-distance relationship. Don’t leave your partner hanging, while trying to make someone else as an option just because you’re bored and you want a companion. No one deserves to be an option and no one deserves to be cheated on. You’re are in a committed relationship so act like one.
2 Wala kayong pa-time deposit sa isa’t-isa
Not because you earn more means you should spoil your partner’s needs. Do not let your partner depend on you too much. Your partner has his own talents, skills, and ability to work on his own. Encourage him to utilize it. In the long run, not only him but your relationship as well will make you feel that the world is on your shoulders. Teach him to be financially responsible and independent as possible.
3 Bawal na ang Skype, lagay ba eh kalimutan na?
Skype has recently been blocked in the UAE. But it doesn’t mean that your communication must stop. Find other ways to communicate. This time, you will feel your efforts in keeping your relationship intact even if you’re more than 4,300 miles away from each other. And although your time zones are different, set a schedule to talk and commit to it.
4 Kailangan ka niya dahil may kailangan siya
Again, you’re neither your partner’s financer nor your life savior. When we say life savior, it means he depends too much on you during difficult times. Let each other grow while you’re apart from each other. You should be able to both stand on your own feet in preparation for your married life. Stay in the relationship because you love him/her. Full stop.
5 Hindi mo s’ya pag-aari
Do not limit your partner’s actions nor the people s/he’s mingling with. Your partner’s life does not revolve around you alone. Allow him/her to meet other people and culture, travel to places, and make a decision on his/her own. But be there when s/he’s asking you to be his/her companion.
6 Idaan sa mabuti (hindi maboteng) usapan
Don’t shout or curse regardless of how furious you are. Instead, try to understand the situation and talk things out. They say the only way to truly love someone is to understand the person because you would learn each other’s strengths and weaknesses. And with this, you’ll be able to learn how to manage your individual differences.
7 Mas maniwala ka sa intuition mo kaysa sa chismis ng kapitbahay mo
Do not easily believe in rumors unless proven otherwise. If you can feel his honesty, then believe him. Women have a strong sense of intuition, use it to your advantage. According to an article in Psychology Today, there’s research concluding that a woman’s intuition is more fact than foolery. Theories suggest that women have an enhanced ability to reading facial expressions and emotions.
8 Ikaw lang ang may plano
“Isama mo naman ang d’yan sa pangarap mo kasi ikaw kasama sa plano ko.” When your partner realizes that s/he is not part of your plans in the longer, it can push your partner away. So, don’t make any excuse in the book to avoid discussing where things are headed because your partner may perceive that you don’t imagine a life together with him/her.
