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RATED PG: Should parents have a say in your life?

While Filipino households are raised in a culture that is leaning towards family, some experts believe that parents must strike a balance between what they think is best for their kid, and what their children want to be and have at the end of the day.
In an interview with The Filipino Times, Jonathan Yabut, a multi-awarded and seasoned life coach as well as the winner of the first season of AXN reality show The Apprentice Asia, said there is no limit to when a parent should be involved in their children’s lives as long as the intervention does not involve hurting or affecting the lives of other people.
“Parents have to understand that how they were raised as children 20 or 30 years ago is different from the children today. Now, the kids get their information instantly on the internet, they get to compare lives from their friends, they are now are more ambitious, and they have a better way of accessing a better life,” he said.
The issue of the limitations of the parents in the lives of the children were put on the spotlight once again after the news about Sarah Geronimo and Matteo Guidicelli’s wedding being interrupted by the former’s mother Mommy Divine made headlines recently.
Geronimo and Guidicelli were supposed to have a grand wedding in Italy in March this year, but then settled first for a secret civil wedding ceremony in BGC, Taguig—unbeknownst to Mommy Divine.
The mother apparently showed up unannounced at the wedding and tried to stop it, reportedly making a scene that ended with the popstar crying and shouting “Stop it na, Ma!” and Guidicelli punching one of the bodyguards who allegedly spilled the information.
Netizens flocked The Filipino Times and expressed their concern about the overprotectiveness of Mommy Divine, with many of them saying that it is an example of a “toxic Filipino culture,” and a few siding with Mommy Divine.
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Yabut, however, also said there is no right and wrong culture, and that having a protective parent or guardian is common in Filipino culture.
He added that there are still certain advantages to having a protective parent or guardian, noting that having one helps a kid get safer especially in developing countries where security is a big issue.
“For example, in Manila, it pays to have a protective parent because you don’t know what kind of dark forces there are on the streets or simple temptations that can lure you into having a bad future. It’s nice to have a parent who is reminding you and protecting you from those,” he added.
However, when it comes creating their own families, Yabut said that parents should only give advice and to not dictate their kids every step of the way, noting that not giving them space and distance hinders them from maturing.
“[Parents being overprotective] don’t push the children to think about the future, to think about their career, to think on their own feet, and to make decisions in life they will be accountable for. One of the most important parts of living is called autonomy or the ability of getting things done independently without someone hovering like a helicopter. It is scientifically proven as one of the sources of happiness that makes a man continue to want to live. A parent should be able to decide that they should let go of their children once their happiness is already being hampered,” he said.

Staff Report

The Filipino Times is the chronicler of stories for, of and by Filipinos all over the world, reaching more than 236 countries in readership. Any interesting story to share? Email us at [email protected]

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